It Won’t Happen Again

Giving in is too easy sometimes.

Dark thoughts encasing,

closing,

closing in.

Sometimes breaking is the only option

and I have unfortunately

broken again.

Sip.

My head throbs from the clarity of which I see my problems,

from the fact that I can no longer see solutions.

Why do I always end up in the same spot?

Sip.

Everyone is quick to scold

but no one has been bold

enough

to reach out a helping hand.

So here I lie,

drowning in my sorrows.

My lungs and heart aching,

my hands and world shaking,

alone and in the cold.

Sip.

My only company is the bottom of the bottle.

Multiple bottles.

The only thing I can rely on

is the fact that I am controlled by

an inanimate object.

The thing that keeps me company

has ripped my life to shreds.

Yet I keep running back to it

asking it sweetly to dull my head.

Sip.

With my common sense brutally murdered

and my cooler emptied too fast,

I begin to think about my future,

and how I don’t want it to last.

“Help has come and gone,”

I reason

“No one wants you here.

The only thing left to love you

is your Cold-Hearted Beer.”

Sip.

If I break this bottle

what could it do to me

that it hasn’t already done?

SMASH

Drip.

I hear a soft patter on the floor

when I look down I see

Red Smears galore.

“It’s beautiful.”

I quietly whisper to myself.

Drip.

I lift my hand up to my head

and examine what I’ve done.

Life was awful,

so let’s try Death.

I giggle and think it might be fun.

Drip.

I walk to grab a blanket, in case death is cold

and see my reflection in the mirror

at a person whose soul has been sold;

and the buzz of my Devil-Drink

begins to be old.

Drip.

Terror dawns upon my face as I realize my mistake.

The wound upon my head begins to throb and ache!

I hobble out into the dark-

I don’t want to die!

Drip.

The only place open at this time of night

is the liquor store that I have in sight.

“I let it best me!” I scream as I cross the unlit street

to save myself by asking help

from the thing that has almost killed me.

Loud noises surround me,

but I don’t know from whence they originate

until I look over at blinding bright lights.

Dread falls upon me

as I realize I’m too late.